One-Inch Brass Cup Hook – a Review

I could not say with any certainty what my motivation was for purchasing this item, let alone a pack of them, as I am not one to hang cups. I checked my kitchen and I can confirm that my wife also does not use this hook in a manner that its description would suggest. And yet here it is, temporarily removed from the space that it has occupied in our household drawer of miscellany for an untold length of time. Perhaps it has always been there.

A brass hook on wine corks
We drank every bottle

This hook is large enough that it could effectively support the weight of a common household coffee mug. I checked with multiple sizes from your standard, reasonably sized vessel to the why-do-you-own-such-a-large-mug caffeine cauldron. This does not mean that hanging cups from the underside of your cupboards is a suitable alternative to having aesthetic taste. Furthermore it is an unnecessary, albeit minor, inconvenience; an extra obstacle hindering your progress in the transition from a state of daybreak-induced dementia to that of whatever you feel is near normal but still a bit foggy. Every time you wash a mug, you have to hang it. Every time you want some brew, you have to reach down and unhook it. Every time you have a guest and they ask where you keep your mugs you have to admit to them that you’ve made a terrible mistake.

Two coffee cups and a brass hook
A wild Dakotah appears

The installation process assumes that the installer has at least one functional opposable thumb for either pinching and turning or allowing for the firm grip of an appropriate tool. Sadly, the thumbless will need to seek a more creative solution that may involve their teeth or asking someone nearby to volunteer a moment of their time.

Using this hook in place of an earring is silly.

A brass hook hanging off of an ear
Ridiculous

This hook is uncomfortable to step on. If you see a similar hook lying on the floor, pick it up, place it carefully into your pocket, and mention it to no one, they won’t give a shit. Also be sure to take a moment to look around for an accompanying cup, presumably lying on the floor nearby. Though easily broken, cups are useful and you can always use more.

A brass hook and a coffee mug
That cup is trying to blend in…poorly

I did find one application at which this hook excelled: a cheese hook. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, a cheese hook is a device that allows the transport and manipulation of a block of cheese while avoiding having to deal with cheese fingers. For those of you unfamiliar with THAT concept, “cheese fingers” occurs when you touch cheese or a cheese product, which always leaves a flavorful residue, and are immediately faced with a dilemma: ‘Do I lick my fingers like a savage or do I wash them like people do?’. Getting back to the point at hand, this brass hook works well with most hard cheeses. Feta is just a bit too crumbly to be hooked properly.

A brass hook in a block of chedder
Take that cheese fingers

In Conclusion

Pros

  • I don’t remember buying it
  • Wife doesn’t hang cups
  • Cheese hook

Cons

  • Too small to be effectively utilized by anyone tending to a herd of sheep.
  • Painful to step on
  • Thumbless folk may have difficulty

 

 

 

 

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